Basford Sorting Office FAQs !

Like a tedious daily column from some uninspired journo or a blog from someone who thinks pople give a damn here is my postoffice parcel blog..

As often happens you get home and find a postoffice slip saying that there was no one in when they tried to deliver your precious package at 12:30, so now you have a trip to the sorting office to pick up.

When you arrive at the office you will be tempted to drive in through the gates, don’t do it! If you do you find that you have no where to park and have to do a three point turn in a tiny courtyard, without hitting any post men on bikes. It’s a bit like doing one of these annoying missions in GTA where you have to pick up a package without damaging your car or killing anyone.

The opening times on the door have been crossed out and re-written in permanent pen. They are now open an hour later and close at 1:00 which is still no good to me.

When you go through the door you are in a space about the size of the Tardis, or at least how big the tardis would be if it wasn’t bigger on the inside. There is another hand written sign, it says “Gas men sign for your parts” Ignore this especially if you are a gas man. Everything is beige in the room, and very worn, not dirty just like its been used every day for 30 years. Like a Rebel alliance fighter, but not cool.

Then you ring the bell and wait. You have to wait Exactly the right length of time to think maybe you should ring it again, If you ring it twice you loose, as they appear right away looking cross.

The man has usually will have grey hair and a moustache, you will recognise him because he has a moustache. He will then spend some time looking for your parcel, you can usually see it on the shelf from where you are, but the guy will do the best to avoid spotting it as long as possible. Don’t tell him where it is this spoils their fun. Stare at the pile of unclaimed low energy light bulbs that stretches from floor to ceiling to distract your self.

This is where you find out despite waiting 24 hours it still might not be back, sometimes its still not back after 48 hours. Just how long are these post rounds ? Congratulations You get to do it all again tomorrow !

Overall: Brown